02 - Classic Cars
Mercedes 300 SL (“Gullwing”)
There’s an element to the overall allure of classic cars that feels almost sexual.
Maybe it’s the curves.
I remember fondly that one time I stood in the magazine section of a Barnes & Noble, thumbing through a look book of classic cars, complete with a centerfold, and moaning so loudly at the images, people stared at me uncomfortably.
No, I’m not planning on romancing a tail pipe anytime soon, but the fact remains - classic cars are beautiful in a way that puts them in the same rarified air as actual sex symbols.
Effortlessly cool and timeless, appreciated by men and women, young and old alike. You’d be hard pressed to find someone who didn’t appreciate the aesthetic wonder of a Mercedes 300 SL (Gullwing), or James Bond’s Aston Martin DB5.
The cars of yesteryear may not have been the most environmentally friendly mode of transportation - but they lasted, and you could see and feel the tireless work of the engineers and designers who built them. They exude craftsmanship and quality, to this day.
They were made with durable materials, not the cheap (I’m sorry, “cost-effective”) plastics of today.
They didn’t last years, they lasted generations.
Everything from the solid steel exteriors, to the fine leather interiors, they were the pinnacle of luxury and class.
Today’s cars? Not so much.
Sure, they’re safer, and greener, but manufacturers sacrificed aesthetics to get there. And while I understand looks take a backseat (see what I did there?) to those more important matters, you shouldn’t completely abandon a car’s appearance to achieve technological advancement.
It’s not just that today’s cars are objectively uglier, the mindset of most manufacturers has changed.
They’re looking to mass produce as many cheap (dammit, cost-effective) cars as possible. It’s understandable in a capitalist system that encourages you to make a product for as little as you can, and then sell said product for as high as you can - but back then, designers were more like artists with a canvas, or sculptors with a slab of marble. Cars were built by hand, with all the minor, often imperceivable flaws that came with that. The cars had character. They were more than just a way to get from point A to point B.
They were dramatic, whimsical, and sometimes so futuristic and ahead of their time, they looked like something ripped out of a science fiction novel.
They were rallying cries for their respective countries. Whether they represented the elegance and sophistication of Italy, the engineering marvel of Germany, or the overall bad-assery of American muscle - they were designed with a purpose. You could tell brands apart without having to look at their badges, something only the gear-iest of gear heads can do today.
Modern cars lack character. They lack boldness. They lack creativity. It’s just a never-ending blur of SUVs and mid-sized sedans, in a limited variety of colors that range from plain but tolerable, to outright offensive.
The only ones worth eyeing in today’s world are the supercars, but mainly for their high performance. Aesthetically, many of them look the same, regardless of the brand - although I’ll concede that most of them look sexy. But sexy isn’t beautiful. They’re nice to look at, but they’re no classics.
With technology advancing by leaps and bounds with every passing year, I’m hopeful we’ll one day discover a way to make cars safe, environmentally sound, durable, and pleasing to the eye - without having to sacrifice any of those things to prop up the others.
Until that day, I’ll continue to lust after the classics.
They’re called that for a reason.