Oscars Weekend: Counting Down My Favorite Films Of The Year And Making Oscar Predictions

The 90th annual Oscars are this Sunday. Because I'm a well documented cinephile, I wanted to write a quick blurb counting down my top 10 films of the year, and making award predictions for the show. 

10. Lady Bird

I loved the pacing in this film, and although I think Allison Janney is more likely to win Best Supporting Actress, I feel Laurie Metcalf's role was meatier and she gets my vote for the award.

9. Wonder Woman

Just like this year's Black Panther, Wonder Woman was a much needed cultural blockbuster phenomenon. And just like Black Panther, the cultural aspect isn't the only draw. It's a legitimately enjoyable comic book film, and one that should have been recognized by the Academy. A quality film is a quality film and comic book blockbusters are not going away. Academy should be more inclusive when it comes to the genre.

8. Get Out 

Another necessary cultural phenomenon. Another great film. It's gained a little steam in recent weeks and could very well have a legitimate shot at winning Best Picture.

7. I, Tonya

I'll admit - part of me ranks this so highly because of the 90s nostalgia. But regardless, it is a fantastic dark comedy and one that features three great performances from Margot Robbie, Allison Janney, and Sebastian Stan. 

6. Star Wars: The Last Jedi

I know this is a polarizing film. But it's far and away my favorite Star Wars film of all time. Yes, I enjoyed it even more than The Empire Strikes Back. I felt it took chances in the story that 99% of blockbusters wouldn't dare take. I admired its boldness in that regard, and it was just a fun movie overall in my opinion. I've grown pretty cynical in recent years when it comes to big budget movies, but I enjoyed this film top to bottom. I was glued to my seat, and filled with childlike wonderment throughout the entire film. 

5. The Florida Project

In any other year, this is probably my number one. Wow, what a film. Painful, real, raw. It's probably the most human film on the list. And although Sam Rockwell is the frontrunner to win Best Supporting Actor, I can't decide if Willem Dafoe should get the statue instead. Must watch for anyone who hasn't seen it.

4. Detroit

Severely underrated film. Again, another culturally necessary one - especially in this day and age. Outstanding performances across the board, and a tense pacing that never lets up. 

3. Three Billboards Outside Of Ebbing, Missouri

Believe the hype. This film is more than deserving of any and every statue it ends up taking home on Sunday. Especially the much talked about performance of Frances McDormand.

2. Good Time

Probably the best paced film of the year in my opinion. I mentioned excellent pacing for both Lady Bird and Detroit - but wow, Good Time is quite a ride. The only film on this list where I was legitimately disappointed to see the credits come up. I wanted to live in this universe for at least another hour. A neon-filled fever dream of New York's gritty underbelly? More please. Also, Robert Pattinson kicked ass. Duly noted.

1. Mother!

Like The Last Jedi, this was another polarizing film. But the mindfuckedness of it all was hitting all my cerebral and visual g-spots. This movie was twisted, abstract, haunting art. And I loved every minute of it. Darren Aronofsky is quickly becoming a top 3 director for me.

Oscar Predictions

And now, I'll give my predictions for what I think will happen Sunday night. I'll include both who I think will win, and who I want to win.

Best Picture

Call Me By Your Name

Darkest Hour

Dunkirk

Get Out

Lady Bird

Phantom Thread

The Post

The Shape Of Water

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (Think/Want)

Best Actor

Timothee Chalamet for Call Me By Your Name

Daniel Day-Lewis for Phantom Thread

Daniel Kaluuya (Want) for Get Out

Gary Oldman (Think) for Darkest Hour

Denzel Washington for Roman J. Israel, Esq.

Best Actress

Sally Hawkins for The Shape Of Water

France McDormand (Think/Want) for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Margot Robbie for I, Tonya

Saoirse Ronan for Lady Bird

Meryl Streep for The Post

Best Supporting Actor

Willem Dafoe (Want) for The Florida Project

Woody Harrelson for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Richard Jenkins for The Shape Of Water

Christopher Plummer for All The Money In The World

Sam Rockwell (Think) for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Best Supporting Actress

Mary J. Blige for Mudbound

Allison Janney (Think) for I, Tonya

Lesley Manville for Phantom Thread 

Laurie Metcalf (Want) for Lady Bird

Octavia Spencer for The Shape Of Water

Best Director

Christopher Nolan for Dunkirk

Jordan Peele (Want) for Get Out

Greta Gerwig for Lady Bird

Paul Thomas Anderson for Phantom Thread

Guillermo del Toro (Think) for The Shape Of Water

Best Writing (Original Screenplay)

Emily V. Gordon and Kumail Nanjiani for The Big Sick

Jordan Peele (Want) for Get Out

Greta Gerwig (Think) for Lady Bird

Guillermo del Toro for The Shape Of Water

Martin McDonaugh for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

James Ivory (Think) for Call Me By Your Name

Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber for The Disaster Artist

Scott Frank, James Mangold and Michael Green for Logan

Aaron Sorkin for Molly's Game

Virgil Williams and Dee Rees for Mudbound

Alright! Well, here's hoping 2018 tops the amazing films I saw this past year. Enjoy the Oscars. Tune in to see how wrong my predictions were!

-D.C.

1.14.18 - My 50 Most Anticipated Films Of 2018

Alright, so being the cinephile that I am, I decided to make a list of my top 50 most anticipated films of 2018.

A lot of these are indie films and/or films of which very little is known at this time. Some of them could wind up being shelved until next year. Time will tell. 

That being said, these are films that I’m looking forward to mostly based on genre, plot description, or simply who’s attached to the project.

Without further ado, these are my 50 most anticipated films of 2018:

(Note: Clicking the title of each film will take you to their IMDB page)

50. How To Talk To Girls At Parties

Genre: Comedy/Music/Romance

Dir: John Cameron Mitchell

Starring: Nicole Kidman, Elle Fanning, Stephen Campbell

There will be several films on this list that make the list purely because A24 is connected to the project. This is one of those films. Also, I trust Nicole Kidman and Elle Fanning's judgement. They tend to pick unique and interesting roles.

49. The Vanishing Of Sidney Hall

Genre: Drama/Mystery

Dir: Shawn Christensen

Starring: Janina Gavankar, Michelle Monaghan, Elle Fanning

Two films so far; two Elle Fanning appearances. Two A24 projects. This will be a trend going forward.

48. A Prayer Before Dawn

Genre: Action/Biography/Crime

Dir: Jean-Stephane Sauvaire

Starring: Joe Cole, Vithaya Pansringarm, Panya Yimmumphai

This stars Joe Cole from Black Mirror's "Hang The DJ" in quite a different role from the one he played in that episode. Can you guess what company is involved in its distribution? You know me too well.

47. Alpha

Genre: Action/Drama/Thriller

Dir: Albert Hughes

Starring: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Leonor Varela, Natassia Malthe

This one is definitely giving me The Revenant vibes. And the cinematography looks gorgeous.

46. Mid '90s

Genre: Comedy

Dir: Jonah Hill

Starring: Katherine Waterston, Lucas Hedges, Sunny Suljic

A coming-of-age tale set in the 90s, written and directed by Jonah Hill? Consider me intrigued. Mainly because of the title. The 90s rule.

45. The Strangers: Prey At Night

Genre: Horror

Dir: Johannes Roberts

Starring: Christina Hendricks, Bailee Madison, Martin Henderson

I have to admit, I'm a sucker for horror films. Of any and all kinds. And I thoroughly enjoyed the first Strangers movie. I'm also curious to see what Christina Hendricks brings to her role.

44. Everybody Knows

Genre: Drama

Dir: Asghar Farhadi

Starring: Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem, Ricardo Darin

Farhardi (The Salesman) is at the helm for a romantic drama set in Spain. I think the cast is gonna take it the distance.

43. Roma

Genre: Drama

Dir: Alfonso Cuaron

Starring: Marina de Tavira, Daniela Demesa, Marco Graf

A beast of a director (Children Of Men, Y Tu Mama Tambien, Gravity) chronicling the story of a middle-class family in 1970s Mexico. 

42. Boy Erased

Genre: Biography/Drama

Dir: Joel Edgerton

Starring: Lucas Hedges, Nicole Kidman, Joel Edgerton

A movie about gay conversion therapy. Starring Lucas Hedges of Manchester By The Sea fame (and a handful of other films since then), Nicole Kidman (again), and Joel Edgerton, who's another great, underrated actor. Directed by Edgerton himself, who also directed The Gift. I believe in everyone involved.

41. Tomb Raider

Genre: Action/Adventure

Dir: Roar Uthaug

Starring: Alicia Vikander, Hannah John-Kamen, Walton Goggins

I know we're not supposed to trust video games as movies - but I think they nailed this casting. And that's part of the battle won right there. 

40. Halloween

Genre: Horror

Dir: David Gordon Green

Starring: Judy Greer, Jamie Lee Curtis, Andi Matichak

This is not a remake. I repeat. This is not a remake. According to Danny McBride, one of the film's writers; this will be a direct sequel to the original film. Jamie Lee Curtis reprises her role of Laurie Strode. Awesomeness will ensue

39. Hotel Artemis

Genre: Thriller

Dir: Drew Pearce

Starring: Sofia Boutella, Dave Bautista, Jodie Foster

I trust Jodie Foster. And I'm digging the plot of the movie. Per ComingSoon.net: Set in its own distinctive crime universe, "Hotel Artemis" follows a nurse (Foster) who runs an underground hospital for Los Angeles’ most sinister criminals, and finds that one of her patients is actually there to assassinate another.

38. Destroyer

Genre: Action/Crime/Drama

Dir: Karyn Kusama

Starring: Nicole Kidman, Sebastian Stan, Toby Kebbell

Crime drama directed by Kusama (Jennifer's Body, The Invitation) starring Kidman and Stan, who's coming off a fantastic performance in I, Tonya. Not much is known yet, but I'm down either way.

37. Galveston

Genre: Action/Crime/Drama

Dir: Melanie Laurent

Starring: Lili Reinhart, Elle Fanning, Ben Foster

According to IMDB: "After escaping a set up, a dying hitman returns to his hometown of Galveston where he plans his revenge."

Throw in Elle Fanning (again) and Ben Foster (who is criminally underrated and a fantastic method actor), and you've got a ticket to the Alamo punched in my name.

36. The Sisters Brothers

Genre: Western/Dark Comedy

Dir: Jacques Audiard

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Joaquin Phoenix, John C. Reilly, Carol Kane

From IMDB: In 1850s Oregon, a gold prospector is chased by the infamous duo of assassins, the Sisters brothers.

I'm a fan of Westerns. I think both Gyllenhaal and Phoenix choose very interesting roles/films. I'm curious how it'll all turn out.

Based on the Patrick deWitt novel of the same name.

35. Slice

Genre: Comedy/Horror

Dir: Austin Vesely

Starring: Chance The Rapper, Joe Keery, Zazie Beetz, Paul Scheer

Ode to the B-movie horror flicks of the 80s, starring Chance The Rapper (who I have total faith in after his hosting turn on SNL) and Joe Keery of Stranger Things fame. Also distributed by - wait for it. Wait for it. A24.

34. Slender Man

Genre: Horror

Dir: Sylvain White

Starring: Joey King, Julia Goldani Telles, Annalise Basso

The story of Slender Man has always intrigued me. Can't wait to see this sucker on the big screen. 

33. Sicario 2: Soldado

Genre: Action/Crime/Drama

Dir: Stefano Sollima

Starring: Benicio Del Toro, Josh Brolin, Catherine Keener

The first Sicario was amazing. I expect nothing less from the sequel. 

32. Scarface

Genre: Crime/Drama/Thriller

Starring: Diego Luna

A remake of the 1983 classic starring Diego Luna. What more needs to be said? 

31. Gemini

Genre: Mystery, Thriller

Dir: Aaron Katz

Starring: Lola Kirke, Zoe Kravitz, John Cho

I just love the visuals in this one. Noir LA vibes. Reminds me of Neon Demon. I'm not gonna lie - that's like 85% of the reason I want to see it. 

30. The Predator

Genre: Action/Adventure/Horror

Dir: Shane Black

Starring: Olivia Munn, Jacob Tremblay, Yvonne Strahovski

It's Shane Black (The Nice Guys), it's Olivia Munn, it's Predator. Come on. Fucking take my money right now.

29. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Genre: Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi

Dir: J.A. Bayona

Starring: Bryce Dallas Howard, Chris Pratt, Jeff Goldblum

We're heading into blockbuster territory now. 

Here's hoping this sequel takes on a decidedly darker tone. Most sequels do. 

28. Black Panther

Genre: Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi

Dir: Ryan Coogler

Starring: Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, Lupita Nyong’o

Love the trailer. Love the soundtrack. And something about this film just screams "Fun." I think it's gonna be a very fun movie.

27. Avengers: Infinity War

Genre: Action/Adventure/Fantasy

Dir: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo

Starring: Everyone who's ever been in a Marvel movie ever

I have to admit, I've soured on most big budget films. Particularly superhero films. But every so often, one of them comes along that you know you just have to watch, because of its cultural impact. It's too big to ignore. We saw that with the first Avengers. With Justice League, and now, with Infinity War. Even my with my hardened shell, and my arthouse snob tendencies, it's hard not to get excited for this one.

26. Venom

Genre: Action/Horror/Sci-Fi

Dir: Ruben Fleischer

Starring: Tom Hardy, Michelle Williams, Jenny Slate

Honestly I can't wait for this one. I know everything I need to know already. It's a Venom movie, and Tom Hardy is in it. Take it. Just take my money. Take it twice.

25. If Beale Street Could Talk

Genre: Crime/Drama/Romance

Dir: Barry Jenkins

Starring: Dave Franco, Pedro Pascal, Ed Skrein

According to IMDB: A woman in Harlem desperately scrambles to prove her fiancé innocent of a crime while carrying their first child. 

Based on the James Baldwin novel and directed by Barry Jenkins of Moonlight fame.

24. I Think We're Alone Now

Genre: Drama, Sci-FI

Dir: Reed Morano

Starring: Peter Dinklage, Elle Fanning

Elle Fanning again. How many is that? Damn the girl is good. 

According to IMDB: The apocalypse proves a blessing in disguise for one lucky recluse -- until a second survivor arrives with the threat of companionship.

A different take on your standard end of the world story. I'm all for it.

23. Bad Times At The El Royale

Genre: Thriller

Dir: Drew Goddard

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Dakota Johnson, Russell Crowe

According to IMDB: The film is set in the 1960s in a dilapidated hotel in the Lake Tahoe region in California.

A retro thriller set in Cali? Yes please.

22. Isle Of Dogs

Genre: Animation/Adventure/Comedy

Dir: Wes Anderson

Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Greta Gerwig, France McDormand

Another stop-motion animation film from the quirky, whimsical Wes Anderson. A lot of actors from his usual crew are in this, plus a ton of others. The film is packed with top tier talent all lending their voices to the film. I haven't seen Fantastic Mr. Fox (or a lot of other Anderson films) but this one has my attention.

21. Luxembourg

Genre: Drama

Dir: Myroslav Slaboshpytskyi

Very little is known about this film at the moment other than it's directed by Slaboshpytskyi (The Tribe), and it's going to deal with the Chernobyl disaster/nuclear winter.

20. Suspiria

Genre: Fantasy/Horror/Mystery

Dir: Luca Guadagnino

Starring: Chloe Grace Moretz, Dakota Johnson, Tilda Swinton

Horror remake of the 1977 original, directed by Guadagnino (Call Me By Your Name), starring Chloe Grace Moretz, who I love. 

The story centers around a ballerina who discovers dark secrets about her dance academy. 

19. High Life

Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi

Dir: Claire Denis

Starring: Robert Pattinson, Mia Goth, Juliette Binoche

After his role in Good Time, I'm a Pattinson fan. I trust his judgement on a film about convicts who agree to take part in a dangerous space mission in exchange for a reduced sentence. 

18. The House That Jack Built

Genre: Drama/Horror/Thriller

Dir: Lars von Trier

Starring: Riley Keough, Uma Thurman, Matt Dillon

According to IMDB: The story follows Jack, a highly intelligent serial killer over the course of 12 years and depicts the murders that truly develop Jack as a serial killer.

Tell me that ain't gonna be some shit. Also, this will not be the only movie on the list starring Riley Keough. Keep count.

17. A Quiet Place

Genre: Drama/Horror/Thriller

Dir: John Krasinski

Starring: Emily Blunt, John Krasinski, Noah Jupe

Loud, startling sounds used to be a big feature of horror films. A necessary element in dredging up fear. But quite a few recent films (Mother!, Don't Breathe, Lights Out) have used lack of sound to equal or greater unnerving effect. This film starring real life couple Emily Blunt and John Krasinski (directed by Krasinski himself) looks to take that idea to the next level.

16. Tyrel

Genre: Drama

Dir: Sebastian Silva

Starring: Caleb Landry Jones, Michael Zegen, Christopher Abbott

According to Deadline: Tyrel spirals out of control when he realizes he‘s the only black person attending a weekend birthday party in a secluded cabin.

Hmmm...

15. Untitled Deadpool Sequel

Genre: Action/Adventure/Comedy

Dir: David Leitch

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin, Josh Brolin

We don't even have an official name yet for this movie. Do we really need one? Didn't we all agree we were going to see this as soon as we left the theaters for the first one?

14. Cloverfield Movie

Genre: Horror/Mystery/Sci-Fi

Dir: Julius Onah

Starring: Elizabeth Debicki, Daniel Bruhl, Gugu Mbatha-Raw

I thought 10 Cloverfield Lane was fantastic and I can’t wait to see what this one has in store. I’ve also grown to love the mystery that shrouds these movies - to the point that you barely have a working knowledge of what the plot is as you head into the theater. Keeps things fresh.

13. Leave No Trace

Genre: Drama

Dir: Debra Granik

Starring: Ben Foster, Jeff Kober, Dale Dickey

Ben Foster again (this dude is awesome, seriously). This time in a film about a man and his teenaged daughter living off the grid in Portland, Oregon, until something bad happens.

12. Black Klansman

Genre: Biography/Crime/Drama

Dir: Spike Lee

Starring: Adam Driver, Topher Grace, Laura Harrier

From IMDB: Ron Stallworth, an African-American police officer from Colorado, successfully managed to infiltrate the local Ku Klux Klan and became the head of the local chapter.

Sounds pretty fucking bad ass.

11. Never Goin’ Back

Genre: Drama

Dir: Augustine Frizzell

Starring: Maia Mitchell, Camila Morrone, Kyle Mooney

What happens when two teenaged high school dropout girls need to make money and avoid eviction (and jail)? I guess we’ll find out.

10. Piercing

Genre: Thriller

Dir: Nicolas Pesce

Starring: Christopher Abbott, Mia Wasikowska, Marin Ireland

Psychological thriller about a man who checks into a hotel and plans to kill a prostitute. Based on Ryu Murakami’s 1994 novel of the same name.

9. Monsters And Men

Genre: Drama

Dir: Reinaldo Marcus Green

Starring: Cara Buono, Anthony Ramos, Rob Morgan

A killing of a black man at the hands of police, told from the perspective of a bystander who recorded the act. Definitely one of the more socially conscious and culturally necessary films on my list. If not the most.

8. Hold The Dark

Genre: Thriller

Dir: Jeremy Saulnier

Starring: Riley Keough, Alexander Skarsgard, James Badge Dale

So you take A24 (again), Riley Keough (for the second time on this list, if anyone is counting), and the director of Green Room and Blue Ruin. What do you get? 

Per IMDB: After the deaths of three children suspected to be by wolves, writer Russell Core is hired by the parents of a missing six-year-old boy to track down and locate their son in the Alaskan wilderness.

I don't think it's any stretch to say, it's gonna be lit as all fuck.

Based on the novel by William Giraldi. 

7. Farming

Genre: Drama

Dir: Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje

Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje

According to IMDB: Based on the writer/director's childhood, FARMING tells story of a young Nigerian boy, 'farmed out' by his parents to a white British family in the hope of a better future. Instead, he becomes the feared leader of a white skinhead gang.

If that's not a monstrous, mindfuck of a premise, I don't know what is.

6. Birds Of Passage

Genre: Crime/Drama

Dir: Ciro Guerra, Cristina Gallego

From Variety: “Birds of Passage” takes place in Colombia in the 1970s, when the demand for marijuana hits Colombia, quickly turning farmers into seasoned businessmen. Unfolding in the Guajira desert, “Birds of Passage” follows an Wayuu indigenous family who takes a leading role in this new drug trade, and discovers the perks of wealth and power, but with a violent and tragic downside.

Guerra’s most ambitious film to date, “Birds of Passage” was described by Films Boutique’s head of sales Louis Balsan as a “film noir, a western and a Greek tragedy” in its “depiction of a family disintegrating and torn apart.”

Count. Me. The. Fuck. In.

5. Under The Silver Lake

Genre: Crime/Thriller

Dir: David Robert Mitchell

Starring: Riley Keough, Andrew Garfield, Topher Grace

From the director of It Follows, comes a neo-noir crime thriller. 

From Letterbox: A man becomes obsessed with the strange circumstances of a billionaire mogul’s murder and the undeniable link to the L.A. “dog murderers” and cult indie music scene.

A24 again (lol). Riley Keough again (lol). Most likely a good movie then. Also, this is the second movie Topher Grace is in. Looks like he's gonna have a big year.

4. X-Men: Dark Phoenix

Genre: Action/Adventure/Sci-Fi

Dir: Simon Kinberg

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Tye Sheridan, Jessica Chastain

Yes, you read that right. J Law is returning as Mystique, the film takes place in the 90s, and really, that's all I need to know. X-Men. Jennifer Lawrence. 90s. Ticket punched. 

3. Annihilation 

Genre: Adventure/Drama/Fantasy

Dir: Alex Garland

Starring: Natalie Portman, Tessa Thompson, Oscar Isaac

Director Ex Machina? Natalie Portman? Oscar Isaac? Based on the novel by Jeff VanderMeer. Looks like it's gonna be quite a Sci-fi hoot.

2. Red Sparrow

Genre: Thriller

Dir: Francis Lawrence

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Joel Edgerton, Mary-Louise Parker

Mother! was my favorite movie of 2017, and it looks like Jennifer Lawrence is set for another amazing year. This film also stars Joel Edgerton, who I've already mentioned is a pretty damn good actor earlier in this article.

1. Holiday

Genre: Drama

Dir: Isabella Eklof

Starring: Victoria Carmen Sonne, Lai Yde, Thijs Romer

I don't know the director. I don't know the actors. I'm pretty sure this movie won't even be in English. But man does the plot scratch me where I itch. And the movie poster alone has a certain aesthetic to it that tells me it's gonna be one boss of a movie. 

From IMDB: A love triangle featuring the trophy girlfriend of a petty drug lord, caught up in a web of luxury and violence in a modern dark gangster tale set in the beautiful port city of Bodrum on the Turkish Riviera.

1.7.18 - Frustration

A week into the new year, and I'm still in the same funk I've been in for a few months now. I know these feelings will pass, and nothing is static, everything is dynamic - but that doesn't make the (temporary) funk suck any less. 

The frustration comes almost entirely from career stress. 

I want to be a fashion photographer. A legitimate fashion photographer. I feel like if I was given the chance, I'd be able to prove myself worthy and capable. A chance to finally bring my true creations to life, instead of settling for ideas my current budget will allow. But I haven't been given that chance yet. 

I don't have any connections in the fashion world. I'm not represented by an agency. I don't have brands reaching out to me to shoot ad campaigns. I don't have a team of people helping with lighting. I don't have a stylist providing hair and makeup to the models. I don't have a studio or a location set up for me by a company. Everything is a slog. Everything comes out of my pocket. I'm throwing money into it and getting nothing in return. It's obviously not a particularly stable business model. 

How long this can continue remains to be seen. Building a fashion portfolio that nobody sees. Competing with people who have more resources and connections than I currently do. I feel like I'm nowhere close to closing that gap.

It's a sobering reality when you know your dream is unrealistic, but at the same time, it's the only dream you have. At what point do you walk away? At what point do you "settle?" And get a "real job?" 

When do you know to keep pushing? To stick it out? To have faith in the process?

All of these are questions I ask myself on a nightly basis as I lay in bed. 

The talent is there. The drive is there. The passion is there. But sometimes, that's not enough. 

As with most things in life, it's about who you know. 

Fighting for relevancy in a competitive industry that rewards insiders and the well connected almost exclusively is a tough nut to crack.

At the moment, all I can do is continue to improve my craft when and where I can in the elements I'm able to control, and hope for the best.

I wish I had something a little more concrete and substantial to hang my hat on, but all I've got right now is hope. 

Desperate, increasingly shrinking hope. 

But it's still something.

1.1.18 - Clean Slate

New Year. New ideas. New projects. New models. New photos. New notepad. New movies. New music. New love.

Same Rebel.

12.10.17 - New Years Resolutions

I’ve gone back and forth on the whole concept of having "New Years resolutions" for as far back as I can remember. This “New year, new me” thing. I've largely been skeptical of it, for two reasons.

One - for the simple fact that just because the calendar turns a new year doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to change your outlook on life, or any significant aspect of your personality. We are who are, for the most part. For better or for worse. Very few of us have the actual capacity to change. We often stick to what makes us feel comfortable. We avoid challenges and take the path of least resistance. 

And two, because when December/January rolls around, we’re pumped. We’re all in on these (sometimes unrealistic) goals - and hit the ground running for about two weeks. Then it all goes to shit. And we feel like failures. Or worse even - we’ve forgotten what our goals were by the time June rolls around, so we don’t even get the benefit that the sting of failure provides us - which is the motivation to try again. To try harder the next time around. We fall into this apathetic space where nothing’s changed, and we don’t care that nothing’s changed. 

Well - at the risk of being just another statistic, I want to make resolutions this year. Set goals, and meet them. I’m going to list them here, partly to remind myself of them, and partly so that anyone reading this can hold me to them, and viciously mock me if I haven’t achieved them by year’s end. So here’s to 2018. And with that, as the last journal entry of 2017, I present to you my list of personal and creative goals for the new year.

Personal:

1.) Be a more positive person.

Help others more often, put others first more often, and overall be a better person and bring a more positive energy to the universe. 

2.) Drastically improve my career/financial situation. Grow professionally by a ridiculous amount. 

I can’t freelance anymore. I need something way more steady. I can write, I can take pictures. That’s all I can do. Well that’s not entirely true. I can also bake and I think I’m stupid good at foreplay - but I can’t see myself making money off those two things. So I need to find something more substantial in the world of media/the arts. 

3.) Find love. 

I know you can’t force this kind of thing, but I’m pretty fucking tired of waiting for this shit to happen. Gonna do what I can on my end, put myself out there more, be more social, hopefully end my Tinder use for good, and find a girl worth something in real life. I want a meaningful relationship. I’ve never had one. 

4.) Get into better shape. 

I still want to lose a few pounds, despite literally anyone and everyone telling me “Noo! Don’t do that!” It’s also not enough to be skinny. I want to get a little ripped, eat healthier, and be more active. Typical for a resolution, I know. But it’s typical for a reason. We all want to get in better shape. We can all stand to, one way or another. Physically or mentally. 

5.) Be more organized/live a more minimalist life.

I’m wasteful, a terrible cleaner, and I have way too many “things.” While this is a blessing in a lot of ways - I need to start scaling back. I want to live simply when it comes to material items. Simple changes like buying an e-reader instead of actual books, which take up space. Organizing drawers and getting rid of useless clutter (I still have notebooks from high school in my drawers…), and even something as small as tidying up my laptop/external hard drives and putting files in organized folders so I can actually find shit. 

Creative:

1.) Write a journal entry every week.

Right here! On this very site! I tried it last year and got about 15 weeks in, then crashed and burned. This year, I will do it! I will make at least one post a week! Even if it’s just a paragraph - every little bit counts. 

2.) Finally complete a novel or a movie script.

I’ve got like 5 film ideas and 3 novel ideas. I’ve tried writing them several times. I lose steam as soon as I catch fire. And it sucks. Just like with my first book Rebel Stash (which took fucking 3 years to finally complete), I overthink shit. Or I get distracted. I need to see one of these projects all the way to completion. Even if its a rough draft, and an imperfect piece of work - imperfect and real/tangible is better than flawless and imaginary. I can dream of the perfect novel all I want - but actually finishing a solid yet potentially flawed work is worth much more in reality. 

3.) Finish the written portion of Rawteur. 

My second official photography book. The follow-up to Rebel Stash. It may take a while to get all the photos I want, but I have no excuse when it comes to the writing aspect of the book. I have to get it done. 

4.) Change My Photography Style.

I’m constantly looking on how I can improve my work and overall come up with a recognizable style. I really want to get into moodier stuff, while also harkening back to yesteryear. Film grain, black and whites, classic New York fashion photography from the 50s onward. Studying the greats past and present and carving my own niche among them. 

5.) Better understand photography as a whole.

I’ve often said feeling/mood should supersede the technical aspect of photography, but the technical aspect is still important. I want to better understand how lighting works. How to better use studio equipment. How to use my editing software more efficiently. Really get down to the fundamentals and strengthen my technical knowledge. It’ll build a stronger foundation for my future work and can only help me become a better artist.

So there you have it. 10 goals. 5 personal, 5 creative. If I reach just one of them, I’d consider it a victory. But most of you know me. You know I’m a relatively ambitious fuck. I want it all. 10/10. We’ll see how it goes. Wish me luck! And here’s to you accomplishing whatever resolutions you have as well. 

Happy holidays. Happy New Year. God Bless you and yours, and I’ll see you on the other side. 

Cheers.

11.27.17 Definitely In The Holiday Mood

For whatever reason, I've been feeling super festive this holiday season. That wasn't an intentional rhyme but I'll take it. Anyway, my guess is because we didn't have a true autumn here at all (thanks climate change!). I didn't go apple picking, I didn't go for a drive upstate to capture the foliage, I didn't visit any haunted houses or even eat any cider donuts. It sucked ass. 

Because of that, I really want to get my money's worth with Christmas and New Year's. I've already started blasting my Christmas playlist, I've picked three different desserts I plan to bake for Christmas, and I'm even helping my mom make rustic DIY decorations and ornaments. Feeling the warmth and joy of the season and I hope it continues - especially since I've been pretty cynical most of the year.

Perhaps that's another reason why I'm going all out (Oh! Also gotta buy myself an ugly sweater...maybe). I haven't been feeling the best this year, for a variety of reasons - maybe subconsciously, my brain wants to make up for all that lack of euphoria. 

Either way, here's to a safe, happy, and healthy holiday season. 

11.17.17 - About Rawteur

Working on another book you guys. I really don't want to rush this thing, so I don't have a release date in mind yet (like you care). But I do want to shout into the void and give a little bit of info on it.

It's going to be a continuation of Rebel Stash in a lot of ways. But more raw, more risqué. And where Rebel Stash had different chapters with different themes/feels to them, this one (titled Rawteur) is going to be one long fever dream. Rebel Stash was 116 pages, and I want this one to be decidedly longer than that. 

I'm already planning to change my photography style for the new year, and this book will be emblematic of that change. 

I can tell you it's gonna be heavy on the black and white, and that I'm gonna break away from chasing perfect composition and photos that look obviously staged. It's gonna be a sloppy, imperfect, candid, beautiful mess of a book. Reflective of my life! But that's another story for another time.

I also promise this book will be available for print, and I'm currently looking at a number of self publishing sites as we speak to determine which one produces the best quality prints.

Alright! I think I've essentially spoiled 85% of the book before I even begin working on it. I was never good at self promotion.

That being said, I hope you read it anyway. You know, when it comes out. Which I've already told you, is TBD. 

Here's to a new chapter of my career.

Get it? Because we're talking about books and stuff. 

I'll see myself out.  

11.16.17 - My Top 12 Movies Of The Year (So Far)

12. Raw

11. Super Dark Times

10. Kong: Skull Island

9. It Comes At Night

8. The Devil's Candy

7. It

6. Wonder Woman

5. Get Out

4. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

3. Detroit

2. Good Time

1. mother!

10.2.17

9.24.17

9.14.17 – “mother!” Review

Just got back from seeing Darren Aronofsky’s mother! and I have a few thoughts. Firstly, it’s the best movie I’ve seen all year. It’s one of the best movies I’ve ever seen, period. Though I’ll readily admit, I’m a bit of an indie/art house snob, and this film is not for everyone.

That being said, I think you’d be hard pressed to find a more raw,  visceral, stomach-churning, mind-bending movie – especially in the mainstream. I kind of balked at the notion some critics had that it’s a movie “that stays with you.” But it is. There are several scenes that are tattooed to my eyelids, and scenes I didn’t think I’d ever see in a relatively mainstream movie, and certainly with a cast of well known actors. It was a creative risk for everyone involved, and it paid off in my opinion. Just truly stunning, unbelievable stuff.

There’s not a lot I can say about the actual plot without giving it away – but if you’re into psychological thriller/horrors, this is a must-see. Social commentary and religious allegory aplenty. I think everyone will get something different out of the experience. There’s more than enough symbolism to keep you thinking about the film for the next several weeks or months.

As a cinephile, this is one I won’t soon forget. Definitely a masterstroke of filmmaking, from the writing, to the haunting visuals, to the use of sound (or lack thereof).

If your mind is due for a good hard fucking, I suggest you check this film out.

9.13.17 – Nostalgia Is Power

I just ordered a box of Oreo O’s off Amazon. I’ve recently decided to restore my Sega Genesis library by going back and buying my favorite old games for that system online. I’m really trying to force the 90s back into existence. It’s the last time the world made sense.

9.9.17 – Writing Is Still My Main Love

Working on a new project, though I don’t want to give too much away. But, after reading Stephen King’s It in time for the release of the new movie, I’ve fallen in love with writing all over again. It’s given me a new idea for a book, and has my creative juices flowing in ways they haven’t been flowing for a very long time.

I love photography, and it’s still how most people find me (and this website), but it’s not my true love. Not my true calling. I’ll continue shooting to the best of my ability, and to the best that my (very limited) resources will allow – but writing is my first love because I don’t need resources. I don’t need to compromise my vision. I don’t need money to make it happen. I don’t have to depend on other people to help me with it. I can create an entire world, right from my computer.

Making a living off my writing is still very much the dream. I just need to pursue it with more gusto. With this breath of fresh creative energy, I don’t think that’ll be a problem.

8.18.17 – Info On My New Style

I want to talk really briefly about what I plan to do going forward.

Up until this point, I think I’ve had a pretty clean, minimalist style.

Never one to stay in the same place for too long – I’ve grown tired of that aesthetic for the most part.

I want to get moody, and raw, and capture moments as they happen as opposed to trying to create moments from scratch. Capture the human side of people, and the living, breathing, imperfect beast of the city itself.

For too long I’ve focused on the technical aspect of photography – when at the end of the day, what draws people to images are the feelings they evoke in the viewer. My photos; for all their clean, technically-sound goodness, often don’t tell a story, or create a mood or emotional vibe whatsoever.

That’s about to change.

For the foreseeable future, I’m going to try to capture imperfection.

8.12.17

8.10.17 – New Start

Hey all. Not sure how many of you actually visit this site (that’s not true, I have site metrics that give me traffic data) but if you’ve noticed, I gave my site a fresh coat of paint.

I’m preparing for a new style overall. Not just for my website, but my photography in general.

I think it’s always good to experiment, break out of your comfort zone, try new things, [place other similar platitudes here].

Always working. Always brainstorming. Always trying to improve. The good thing about being a mediocre photographer is that there’s always room for growth!

Anyway, I’ll be using this journal tab to record random thoughts, maybe post some pics, cost myself a job or two by sharing too much info, and overall let my stream of consciousness roam freely.

Cheers lovers.

-Dave