CHAPTER 5: BUTTER

“So..?,” Jade asked nervously the next morning as we laid in bed.

“Nothing!,” I replied, alleviating her fears that she had terrors for a second consecutive night, and lying to her for the first time in our relationship. Another unfortunate milestone.

She rewarded that lie by rolling on top of me and hugging me tighter than she ever had before.

Of course I felt like a scumbag, but she herself told me that one, there was no cure for night terrors, and two, stress increased the likelihood of having more of them. How would confirming her worst fears help her to get better? I rationalized the lie as a helpful, albeit dishonest way to actually get her past these terrors. She “needed to chill.” Her words, not mine. I was just assisting in that process.

“That talk really helped I guess. I needed that. We needed that.”

“Agreed baby. I’m glad you’re feeling better. Now, don’t scare me like that again!”

In one swift movement, she reached down, slid me inside of her, and spun around.

The truth would’ve led to more frustration, disappointment, and concern. The lie led to reverse cowgirl - arguably a much better way to start my morning.

I looked over to my phone on the nightstand. I still hadn’t replied to Madison’s message. Without thinking, I took the phone off the charger and read it again. Regardless of my decision, my life would inevitably change one way or another.

Either I took Madison up on her offer to “connect,” used her influence to further my career, at the expense of alienating Jade or ending my relationship with her altogether, or I ignored the message, broke off all communication with her, and asked myself “What if?” until the anxiety of that decision swallowed me whole and consumed every waking moment of my life.

I weighed my options as Jade continued riding me.

I recognized the power and influence Madison had. It was more than just using her connections to make a film. If I played my cards right, I could change the world. I could use a bigger platform for good.

“That sounds awesome!,” I finally replied, mentally preparing myself for whatever was to come next.

I put my phone down and once again focused on the woman grinding aggressively on my cock. I watched as she worked up a sweat, her back glistening as she dragged her big, pale ass across my waist, the lower half of my body completely buried underneath her.

Seconds went by before I heard a ding.

“How bout today? I’m free later this afternoon. We could grab a coffee and chat!”

“That works! Definitely down for that,” I responded, somewhat mortified that I didn’t have more time to process what the fuck was happening.

Was I really setting up a date with my girlfriend’s new enemy while literally being inside said girlfriend? After lying to her face about her own health just minutes ago? Was I going for the scumbag world record here?

I finished inside Jade once again, and she asked if I wanted to take what was quickly becoming a thing for us - a sexy shower - which I declined, to her surprise, citing “work stuff,” which wasn’t technically another lie, as I hammered out the details with Madison.

She suggested a coffee shop near Central Park West since she lived in the area.

Jade left for work, and I had a few hours alone to hate myself and get ready for this date that wasn’t really a date, but it was something I wasn’t gonna tell Jade about, so it definitely felt like a date. I realized if something actually came from this meet up, however, I’d have to be honest with her - but I figured I’d cross that bridge if or when I got to it.

I made it to the coffee shop first, and waited for Madison. I could feel my heart sink into my stomach. I felt dirty for even meeting her, I got anxious thinking about where this could lead, and truth be told, Madison was just an inherently intimidating figure in my opinion. I thought being with someone like Jade would’ve removed any and all anxiety I felt around significantly attractive women, but just having coffee with Madison was enough for me to get in my own head.

The supermodel showed up twenty minutes late, hopping out of a black SUV with tinted windows, dressed casually in a white t-shirt and boyfriend jeans, with shades that covered half her face, and her hair in a messy bun.

“Hey,” she delivered in a flat, muted tone, her voice several octaves deeper than the public-facing perky one I was used to hearing. She gave me a halfhearted hug and I took in her warm, inviting scent. She smelled like toasted marshmallows.

“Sorry I’m late,” she continued. “Had to jump on a conference call with some investors. I’m opening a bakery in Paris. Maddie Cakes.”

“Oh wow. A bakery? A Parisian bakery. That’s awesome.”

“Thanks, yeah. I’m super excited, but you know. Still stressful.”

“Oh man, I’m sure.”

“But it’s gonna be really cool. We’re gonna have two separate menus. ‘Guilty’ and ‘Guilt-free’. Like, less sugar, no gluten, vegan options.”

“I didn’t know you baked.”

“What? I’ve only made like a million recipe videos on my ViewMe channel.”

“Shit, really? I’m sorry.”

“It’s cool. I didn’t read your book, so I guess we’re even.”

“Ha. That’s fair.”

“So how’ve you been? How’s Jade?”

“I’m good, yeah. She’s good.”

“I got the feeling she didn’t like me very much…”

I assumed given Madison’s line of work, she wasn’t a stranger to jealous women. Still, I didn’t feel the need to have her add Jade to that list.

“No, come on. She’s fine.”

“So she was cool with us meeting up?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

I figured if I could lie to my girlfriend, the least I could do was lie to Madison, too.

“I’m actually so curious how you two met.”

I knew what she was getting at. She wanted to ask me “How the fuck did you land a woman like her?,” but her media training had paid off.

“At her job, actually. Like I said the other day, she did this tattoo.”

“Wow! So that was the first time you met?”

“Yep.”

“That’s so cute. I’d actually really love to stop by her place. Maybe get another little tat, give the shop some buzz on my socials.”

“Ahh. Yeah. That would be…interesting…”

She gave me a devilish grin like she knew full well I lied about Jade being cool with her.

“Don’t worry, I’ll wear a disguise.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. The jig was up.

“No, but really, good for you. A lot of guys would be too insecure to date someone taller than them.”

“I think women care more about that, honestly.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Yeah? So you’d date someone shorter than you?”

She flashed that grin again. Her jig was up.

“You’d be surprised,” she replied again.

“I definitely would be.”

“Anyway…so, talk to me. What are you looking to do? You really wanna make a film?”

“I don’t know. I just want…a platform…I guess.”

“Go on…”

Those two simple words activated the pretentious artist in me that had been dormant the past few weeks.

“I just feel like, I’m here for a larger purpose. Like, writing is awesome, and obviously the financial side of things are awesome right now, but—

“You want more.”

“Well, yeah.”

“I totally get that.”

“Really?”

“Of course! Like, there’s only so much I can do with modeling. That’s why I’m trying to venture out into other things. I know I have a platform and I wanna use it for positive change.”

“And I guess that starts with gluten-free cupcakes?”

She slapped my arm playfully like we had known each other for years. Like Jade often did.

“I’m serious! Like, I’m supposed to be speaking at the UN in a few months.”

“Really? For what?”

“To speak about how climate change disproportionately impacts women.”

“Wow.”

“And yes, I’ll be bringing along a box of petit fours from my bakery for all those important people to sample, thank you very much” she continued, sticking her tongue out at me.

“Haha. Alright, alright. That’s awesome. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, it’s just—

“I know, I’m supposed to be a dumb, pretty face.”

“Well, no, it’s not like that—

“It’s cool. Not many people expected a little girl from Nebraska to get this far, but here I am.”

While I didn’t think a strikingly beautiful white girl making it as a model was the kind of unfathomable success story she did, I appreciated the fact that she was as business savvy as she was, and that it took a lot for her to leave everything behind and move to New York City as a teenager. Most people couldn’t do that.

“No really, that’s awesome. Absolutely. Respect. I didn’t think I’d be where I am, either.”

“Oh, come on. You have a talent! Talent always pays off.”

“Not always.”

“Well, it did for you. And I’m gonna help you any way I can.”

“Why?,” I blurted out involuntarily.

“Why not?”

“I just…I don’t know. You don’t know me, we just met. I kinda can’t even believe we’re talking right now. I don’t know what you get out of it.”

“Well…I mean, you’re cool with Lexi, for starters. If you’re cool with her, you’re cool with me. Also…I don’t know…not to get all chakra crystals on you, but I just like your energy. You seem…real. There’s a short supply of that in this business, believe me.”

I didn’t wanna press her further, despite still feeling confused about how and why I was having an impromptu meeting with one of the most recognizable faces on the planet. It didn’t make sense.

“Fair enough. And thanks. I think you’re real, too.”

She cackled.

“What?”

“If you thought that, you wouldn’t be asking me why I want to help you. You’d just…go with it…”

I was about to explain myself when her large but delicate hands covered mine.

“Look, I’m not the boogeyman, okay? Despite whatever you’ve heard about me.”

“No way. You’re way more stylish.”

Another Jade-like slap on my arm.

“I think I see what Jade does now. You’re funny.”

Jade. Fuck. What was I gonna tell her? I met Madison at a coffee shop and we had a pleasant business meeting slash first date?

“So…Paris, huh? That’s awesome,” I replied, quickly changing the subject.

“Yup. I fly out there next month for the grand opening. You wanna come?”

“What? No. Come on. Haha. No, that’s insane.”

“You ever been?”

“Never. I’ve actually never left the country.”

“What?! How is that even possible?”

“I know. Jade couldn’t believe it, either. I didn’t even have a passport before we met. She shamed me into getting one. Heh, it’s partly why she calls me Swee—

“No. You’re coming. That’s it,” she said in a tone that can only be described as part playful, part deadly serious.

“And you’re bringing Jade, too. You’re both flying with me.”

What the fuck was happening?

“Uhh…ha…I don’t know…”

“I know. Brush up on some French phrases between now and the trip, because you’re going.” She looked at her watch. “Shit. I gotta go. But it was so cool meeting up. Here, let me give you my number,” she suggested, picking up my phone and holding it in front of me so I could unlock it for her.

“Where’s your…ahh, I see, contacts. Okay, here we go…”

She put her number in, then texted herself from my phone.

“Okay, great. Got yours.”

I heard a ding on my phone, and she let out a gasp before quickly handing it back to me with a flushed face.

“I didn’t see anything! I swear!,” she shrieked, embarrassed.

I looked at my screen to discover a picture of Jade in her bathroom at work, her jeans and underwear around her thighs as she spread her pussy in front of the mirror, with the caption “You didn’t eat your breakfast this morning.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” I apologized, not really sure of what else to say in that situation. My girlfriend’s new enemy had just seen her naked, after unknowingly having her juices on her hand when I shook it just days earlier. Madison was more intimate with Jade than she realized.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s…out of my mind. Next time I’ll let the other person put my number in. Lesson learned! Haha. And, on that awkward note, I gotta bounce. Heading downtown for another meeting.”

“Again, I’m so sorry. And really? I’m heading down there, too.”

“Where you going?”

“The village.”

“Oh! That’s near where I’m going! Want a ride?”

“What? Oh no, I couldn’t…”

“My car service is literally outside.”

“Ahh. Fuck it. Alright.”

And just like that, off we went, hopping into the black SUV she showed up in, like I was as famous as she was.

“Oh my god, I just realized…we didn’t actually order anything! I should like, order something down there and have it ready by the time we show up.”

“Haha wow. No it’s cool. I actually hate coffee, so I wasn’t gonna drink anything anyway.”

“You hate coffee? Who are you?”

“Someone proud to not have a physical dependency on caffeine.”

“Ugh. I’ve been drinking it since I was like thirteen. I couldn’t survive without it.”

“I heard it stunts your growth. But then again, I’ve only had it like twice in my entire life, and look at me.”

“Ha! Maybe it does, and I would’ve been seven feet tall without it. Jesus. Could you imagine? Scary!”

“Well at least you would’ve been taller than your birthday cake.”

“Oh my god haha. It was a little much, wasn’t it?”

“Just a little.”

“You know who designed that? Maxime Marseille. He’s like this big Parisian pastry chef. He’s the one making all the stuff for Maddie Cakes. He’s amazing. He’s super cool. You’ll like him.”

“When I meet him. Next month. In—

“In Paris, yup! When you meet him next month in Paris.”

None of this felt real. I know I’ve said that several times throughout this story so far, but it always bears repeating. None of this felt real. Reality and fantasy were getting harder and harder to differentiate.

“Oh my god,” she groaned, twisting herself around to look out of the back window.

“What?”

“They’re following us. I guess someone recognized me at the coffee shop. Or spotted me before that.”

“Who?”

“Paps. Who else?”

“Wow. Fuck.”

“Some of them are cool. But some get way too creepy. Guess we’ll find out which ones they are when we get out.”

I had given Madison my address, and we were a block away from my house when I suggested they drop me off at the corner.

“Here is good.”

“What? No, come on.”

“I know, but I don’t wanna…I mean…you don’t have to drop me off right in front of my house…”

“Don’t be silly! We’re right here.”

We pulled up to the brownstone, and the car that had been trailing us was parked just a few yards away.

“Alright, well, great seeing you again. I’ll text you all the deets about the trip later.”

“Awesome,” I said flatly, more concerned about the thirsty photographers right outside my home than I was about the upcoming Parisian trip with a supermodel.

“You’re taking your girlfriend to Paris! Get excited!”

“Ha. No, I am, really. It’s just…”

She looked back again.

“Don’t worry about them. You’ll get used to it.”

“Used to it?”

“Well, if we’re gonna be hanging…and you wanna be big, right? Change the world? Make a difference? It comes with the territory.”

“Right. Right…”

“Okay I’m actually really late, so. Don’t make me push you out!”

We shared another half-hug, I took another whiff of her warm, marshmallowy scent, and exited the black SUV.

I ran up my stoop like I was on fire, and fumbled around for my keys, never turning back, but hearing the constant sound of camera shutters.

I slammed the door behind me, and collapsed on the floor.

I could feel my heart beating out of my chest as I clutched the railing and made my way upstairs.

My panic attack continued in the shower, as I scrubbed my body aggressively like I had just come home from cheating and was trying to get the smell off.

After the shower, I threw myself on the bed and laid there naked, too paralyzed to get dressed.

I didn’t know what I feared more - the fact that I was quickly becoming friends with Madison, or that I’d have to explain that to Jade.

My phone went off as I pondered the current state of my life. It was a text from my new supermodel bestie.

“Not for nothing, but your girlfriend is gorgeous.”