Why I'm A Cinephile (And Why I Love Indie Films In Particular)

Like Me (2018) Dogfish Pictures

It's no secret to anyone who knows me that I'm a total film nerd.

I love film more than photography and writing, even though those two outlets are how I (barely) survive.

Truth be told, if I could be involved in the moviemaking process at any level, I'd take it. It's my ultimate dream, though the least realistic of the many dreams I have.

I've spoken about my love of film in small doses, but I haven't taken as deep a dive into the subject as I'd like to.

So today, I’m going all out; and I’m going to focus on three main points:

(1) The moviegoing experience.

(2) Film in general.

(3) Indie films in particular.

The Moviegoing Experience

The moviegoing experience is an enchanting one for me. With on-demand and streaming services becoming more and more popular with each passing year, I hold firmly to my purist ways. I try to see films opening night, or opening weekend at the latest. Every aspect of the moviegoing process is beautiful to me. From getting ready to leave your house in relatively giddy anticipation, to driving to the theater with a friend, discussing the trailer to the movie you’re about to watch, and debating how good you think the film is gonna be, to walking into the theater and immediately getting hit with the invitingly warm smell of buttery popcorn, surrounded by fellow moviegoers and posters for upcoming films, to watching the trailers (and complaining when they show five too many), to the dimming of the lights and the opening credits of the movie appearing on screen, to the end of the film, to the walk and talk back to the car. Nothing beats it.

I've gone to roughly 15 or so different movie theaters in the greater New York area - from pristine, big money chains, to hole-in-the-wall theaters downtown. All of them have a personality to them. All of them bring a different energy. Part of this energy is created by the crowd. Different films require different venues and different energies - at least to me. That's how seriously I take this thing.

If it's Star Wars, or some other big budget, big deal movie - I have to watch it in IMAX, or at the very least, on a standard screen in a big chain theater, with a large, enthusiastic crowd. I like the lines. The anticipation. The anxiety. I feed off that energy heading into the film. It sets the mood. 

When it comes to smaller budget films and indie flicks, I like to downscale. Go somewhere quiet. No fanfare. No hype. A limited audience, mostly filled with fellow cinephiles, all soaking up the movie - studying it, even.

A number of chains have cut out the middle man and have begun serving gourmet food and drinks right to your seat. Nothing beats inhaling a burger and shake while watching a movie in a comfortable, cushiony seat, with more legroom in a theater than at any other time in civilization. Long gone are the cramped, uncomfortable seats the moviegoing public has had to deal with throughout the bulk of cinema’s timeline.

Not only that, but we're now able to reserve which seats we want, totally avoiding the "first come, first served" crisis of having to show up early to be promised a good seat (first world problems, I know). Movie theaters had to adapt and compete with the previously mentioned rise of streaming services; they’ve had to give people a reason to leave the comfort and convenience of watching films at home, and put their asses in the seats. And it starts with creating better seats for those asses.

A few chains have also adopted strict policies that make sure people are promised an enjoyable experience. Things like a zero tolerance policy on cell phone usage and talking, and prohibiting babies and small children from attending certain movies. Those things are important, as more likely than not, the people that would rather pay $15 (!!!) a ticket, not including gas and food, as opposed to staying at home - are going to be moviegoing faithfuls. And the faithfuls don’t want to be bothered when watching films. 

I predict movie theaters will continue to cater to that niche, accepting their increasingly shrinking role in our society while appealing to the loyalists who'll be watching films in theaters until the day their credits roll. I'm happy to say I'm one of them, and while there are a few admittedly attractive alternatives to moviegoing these days - nothing beats the real deal. There's never been a better time to be a cinephile in that regard. 

Films In General

It just hit me that we're like 10 paragraphs into this thing, and I haven't even talked about actual films yet. I apologize. Allow me to indulge now.

Films are amazing. Period. 

Name me an artistic medium that incorporates as many different creative elements as films do. A film is a showcase of acting, writing, sound, and imagery - and that's just what we see and hear. That's not including the abstract: the many themes and symbols woven into the stories that'll stay with us long after the movie's over. 

To produce a truly great film, everything has to be in sync. The director has to be good. The actors have to be good. The writing has to be good. The visuals have to be good. The music has to be good. And even with those things in place, you're still not promised a classic, because for that, you also need the "it" factor. The “it” factor being the intangible element that separates films that look good on paper - the ones that you can say are objectively good films, but don't really do much for you - and the films that blow you away, change your perspective, get you thinking, and more importantly, get you feeling. The films that are cultural phenomenons. The great films.

You need perfection and then some, for that to happen - but when it does, wow, is it a beautiful thing.

Quoting characters in every day interactions with friends. Reminiscing over specific scenes. Carving the film wide open and performing an autopsy on it with friends who share the same love of cinema that you do. Dissecting it. Exploring it. Providing theories and opinions and insights. It only strengthens your love for the movie, and films in general. 

You hear this every year in some form or another at the Oscars, but - films are an escape. That's a huge part of this art form that can't be overstated. Sitting in that theater for 2 hours is a vacation. Nothing else matters in that moment. Not my financial woes, not dramedy of my dating life - not the existential feeling of loneliness and darkness that’s taken over my psyche as of late. Nothing. I'm living purely in the moment. I assume that's how anyone is with any of their own personal loves. Sports, gaming, barhopping. We all have that safe space - that perfect escape. Mine is film. 

They're often culturally important, too. Don't underestimate the power films have over normalizing what should already be normal. LGBTQ lifestyles, interracial relationships, and so on. Sometimes, Hollywood is the first one there. It beats society to the punch. We need those moments, especially if you're part of a marginalized group. It's important to see people who look like you, who live a similar life as you, who go through the same struggles you do, represented on screen. Now, we're still not where we need to be in that regard, as diversity, or the lack of it, is still a huge concern; but we're making strides. Regardless - you can't deny the power films have in our cultural dialogue. They are a necessary piece of progressivism. 

Indie Films

So we've discussed theaters, and films as a whole - but now it's time to get more specific about my love.

Indie films. 

Yes, I love films as a whole: as an artistic medium in its own right, and everything that falls under that umbrella. But it's indie films specifically that really get me going. 

Why? What is it about indie films that I love so much?

Brace yourself, because it's a lot. 

For starters - indie films are free from the creative restraints a lot of big budget films have to deal with. The bigger your budget, the broader your appeal has to be to make that money back. The broader your appeal has to be, the safer your movie has to be. 

If you're expected to make a movie geared towards everyone from teenaged boys to middle aged women, you've gotta play it safe. That means no significantly brainy themes, no overly graphic visuals in regards to either sex or violence, the jokes have to be tame, the plot has to be easily digestible, and lamest of all - you have to be largely formulaic. 

This means having a typical good-guy-versus-bad-guy-and-the-good-guy-has-to-win scenario. A linear, clear cut movie with a decisive ending. It can't jump around in regards to time. It can't venture out of sequence or stray too far from the overall theme. You've got tickets to sell, merchandise to hock, possible sequels to make. Creative risks are always 50/50. They can be genius, they can be lame, depending on who's watching. And you can't play those odds when a ton of jobs are on the line and people are looking to get paid.

Of course, the big studios would love a surefire critical hit that most people love - one that becomes a cultural phenomenon a la Star Wars: A New Hope, or The Dark Knight; but they'll always settle for the consolation prize; which is a mediocre film that neither completely disappoints, nor totally inspires and ignites. A lukewarm, generic movie that makes its money back and then some. 

I don't think that's a particularly great way to make a film, though I’m not saying it can't be done. As I mentioned - there are big budget films that earn all the hype and every dollar they've made - I'm just saying it's more common for it to be a middling piece of forgotten cinema under those circumstances than it is for it to become a global phenomenon that changes the culture. 

That's why I love indie films. These films are largely made by hungry, sometimes desperate, artists, looking to make a name for themselves. And they often have to do it with a comically small budget, and no advertising machine behind them. The only way indie films get recognized is through sheer critical reception and word of mouth. 

The benefit to this, though, is that they don't have a big studio breathing down their necks - having to be there to green light every small decision, micromanaging the film to make sure it's a general-audience-crowd-pleaser. As a result, these artists are given more creative freedom. The movies are weird. They're disturbing. They’re visceral. They're unique, and creative, and original. They make you think. They get you talking. You're off balance the entire time because the typical Hollywood formula we’ve all grown numb to has been stripped away.

Because I've studied film and have seen so many of them - I'm almost never surprised when watching a traditional Hollywood blockbuster. I know what the plot is gonna be before I even watch it. I can predict when and where the beats will occur. I can recognize and clearly identify what act we're in (“Oh, this thing just happened, that means we’re in the third act. The movie should be over in about 30 minutes.”). That lack of surprise and anticipation often kills it for me. Without the suspense, the magic is gone.

But indie films? I can't tell you how many indie films end with me saying "Wait. That was it? That was the end? There's no more movie?" 

It may sound like disappointment - but it's actually joy. Legitimate, genuine, unfiltered joy. I've been had. I've been bested by the film's creators. It caught me off guard. Now I have to go back and piece the film together and figure out how it makes sense to end it the way they did. “What were the clues that should have tipped me off? Oh. Oh I see now. Wow. That makes so much sense. Bravo.”

I'm completely immersed when it comes to indie films. I lose myself totally. There's no point where I'll sneakily glance at my phone to assume what time I'll be leaving the theater. There's no moment where I'm like "Alright well now's the part of the movie where the main character has to do this. And the antagonist has to do that."

More often than not, there is no clear protagonist or antagonist. Everything is blurred. Nothing is given to you. You interpret the film in your own personal way. Sometimes, things aren’t explained. You won't find a traditional Hollywood ending here. You're on your own, and I love that feeling.

Take Like Me, for example. One of my favorite films of last year.

You tell me how much of it makes sense, just from what you've seen. Tell me what you think it could be about. Where you think the story is headed. What the goals and motivations of the characters will be. How it'll end. You can't. And a lot of those questions won't be immediately answered upon first viewing, either. Or answered, period.

Conclusion

In wrapping up, I hope I've clearly and thoroughly explained why I love cinema as much as I do, and why I love indie films in particular. If I didn't explain it, and I didn't answer all your questions, that was by design. I am an arthouse goon, after all.

Perhaps fittingly, it would be best if I just en-